ASK ROSCOE: American Airlines child abusers

Dear Roscoe:

Don’t leave us hanging, man. What’s the upshot of the deal you reported about babies having their milk confiscated by over-zealous Transportation Security Nazis? Any more fallout?

--W. Wright

Dear W.:

Thanks for asking. (See “TSA child abusers,” Friday, Aug. 11.) Actually, when it comes to child abuse in air travel these days, it seems everybody wants to get in on the act. Last time, we’d suggested that the problem was confined to some errant pinhead TSA martinets. Not quite. Our Mr. A. has given us an update, and it turns out that American Airlines’ martinets are giving the TSA martinets quite a run for their money in the pinhead department.

Whereas the TSA managed to deprive eight-month-old Baby A. of food for most of a day, American Airlines managed the feat of losing some of the family’s luggage, principally the infant car seat—without which it is illegal to transport said infant by automobile. These people could use some PR training, too.

We pick up with Mr. A.’s additional account:

They confiscated all of her baby food. (I contacted TSA, FAA, and AA prior to and after the flight – each said this should not have happened.) They also tried taking her formula. After some haggling, we were able to keep 2 bottles worth of formula. (For 13 hours in the airport).

They returned the car seat on Saturday evening. I was very frustrated that they didn’t have a loaner for us or anything. When I told the agent that my only options were to stay the night at the airport or drive home illegally – she told me I certainly couldn’t stay at the airport. I asked, since she was suggesting I break the law, would AA pay for the ticket, she laughed sarcastically, and told me there was nothing to be done, and that I would have to leave. Very frustrating.

Nice. The only saving grace was that the A. family at least made it home without the traffic patrol stopping them to ask if they wanted to buy the $50 or the $100 Police Auxiliary pencil.

--Roscoe

Dear Roscoe:

Did you hear about bin Laden allegedly having the hots for Whitney Houston? Do you believe it?

--B. Brown

Dear B.:

Do you believe everything you read? Next thing, you’ll be telling us that those were real planes that flew into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. That Saddam Hussein really had weapons of mass destruction. And that there’s no worldwide Jewish conspiracy.

Hah! Some people are so gullible.

--Roscoe