Thursday, September 28, 2006

Islamic Republic of America: Part 6

Oh, yeah—the map. (See yesterday’s Islamic Republic of America: Part 5.)

In Robert Ferrigno’s Prayers for the Assassin, America in 2040 has fractured along sectarian lines—the largest piece Muslim, but with significant autonomous Mormon, Bible Belt and secular territories. Says the author: “I make it clear in the book that the U.S. was never defeated militarily, but bled white by a conflict without end, weakened internally by dissent, economic malaise, and a consumer culture hostile to people's genuine thirst for meaning in their lives.”

Sound familiar? Not so far-fetched when someone like Ferrigno puts it all in context—several hundred million fractious, self-centered, decadent, spoiled Americans versus a billion or so Muslims worldwide with a common purpose—restoration of the caliphate. As he asks on his blog, “Which culture do you think is better equipped spiritually to fight a fifty-year war?”

And yeah—the blog.

Imagine if Bob Dylan had a blog. Or, say, Edgar Allan Poe or Mark Twain. Would have have been pretty darn entertaining, right? Imagine the quality of the posts. Well, they don’t. (In fact, we’ve even heard rumors that Twain might be dead.) But Ferrigno does—or did. It’s been a few months since he’s posted. More’s the pity. We’re attempting to find out why, because the content is matchless.

Check it out. Not only that, but there’s a linked Web site called Republic World News, which Scribner commissioned, that’s like a futuristic Drudge Report under a 2040 Islamic States of America. It is truly a wonder to behold—very layered and credible, with News, Weather, Sports, Travel, Education, Business, Faith and Health.

Some Ferrigno highlights from the blog:

· Moral ambiguity and cultural relativism is a luxury when the ground shakes beneath your feet.
· The worst thing for the west is that Ahmadinejad wants a fight. He wants the US or Israel to take out his nuke facilities. He rightly says bring it on, knowing we will tire long before he does, and the world-wide chaos caused by the conflict will only hurry the return of the Hidden Imam.
· If I could add one thing to Prayers for the Assassin, it would be to have mentioned that during the civil war, the State Department converted en masse. And no one noticed.
· Dan Rather is rumored to be staking out a Dallas Kinko’s, awaiting “ramrod buck solid” evidence that George Bush drew the cartoons while he was coked up in an abortion clinic waiting room.
· In the photo after his arrest, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed looks like John Belushi after a speedballs-and-burgers weekend. Puffy, unshaven, dazed and wearing a dirty T-shirt that opened the way for a potential Twinkie defense if he’s ever brought to trial.


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