Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Break out your lead shorts

In the interest of your security and at the risk of being branded an abject Bush-sympathizer and alarmist scaremonger, we issue the following advisory:

Nuclear attack!!! Head for the hills!!!

Well, maybe. In case you haven’t heard, there’s a story going around that an Islamniac named Adnan Shukrijumah has penetrated our southern border in possession of some kind of nuclear materials for recreational use during Ramadan—which begins this Sunday (September 24).

Reportedly, our eight or nine largest cities may be in danger, but especially New York and Washington. Muslims are urged to leave the United States. (Boy, do we second that motion. . .)

This is all according to some poobah named Abu Dawood, supposedly the new commander of al Qaeda forces in Afghanistan. “Our cycle of warnings has been completed,” Dawood said ominously. Whatever that means. The essence of these reports:

* Final preparations have been made for the American Hiroshima, a major attack on the U.S.

* Muslims living in the United States should leave the country without further warning.

* The attack will be commandeered by Adnan el Shukrijumah (“Jaffer Tayyer” or “Jafer the Pilot”), a naturalized American citizen, who was raised in Brooklyn and educated in southern Florida.

* The al Qaeda operatives who will launch this attack are awaiting final orders. They remain in place in cities throughout the country. Many are masquerading as Christians and have adopted Christian names.

Read more at Canada Free Press and WorldNetDaily.

[Courtesy of Dry Bones Blog.]

We can, of course, hear it now from the neo-libs and mainstream mediocracy: "Don't pay attention to these Karl Rove rumors. It's just another attempt to scare you into supporting the so-called global war on terror."

The truth: After purchasing potassium iodide (to block radiation uptake by your thyroid) for yourself and your family—as the Roscoe has done—we should all consider passing a hat and taking up a collection. It’ll probably cost a lot of money to relocate those millions of American Muslims.

But it would be worth every penny. Nes pas?


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