Sunday, December 17, 2006

ROSCOE’S Weak-End Report

Gag me

Did you hear the one about unhinged lefty clown Al Franken running for the U.S. Senate? Yeah, but it’s not a joke. Unfortunately. It’s apparently a serious bid to take on incumbent Norm Coleman in Franken’s home state of Minnesota.

Besides suggesting execution for Karl Rove and Scooter Libby, Franken is (in)famous as a former writer for Saturday Night Live, as one of the rats leaving the sinking Air America Radio ship and as so singularly lacking integrity as to merit an entire chapter in Peter Schwiezer’s great book on liberal hypocrisy, Do As I Say (Not As I Do). Schweizer describes Franken in his book as a “habitual liar, mean-spirited partisan and racial discriminator.”

In other words, if elected, he ought to fit right in. At least for a while. Rumor has it that Franken has even higher aspirations—the, gasp, presidency itself. You might not think Franken sounds exactly presidential in his demeanor—or even senatorial, for that matter. But that’s because you’re an idiot. Just ask Franken.

Like when he said recently about his potential candidacy, "Republicans always say, 'How dare Susan Sarandon and Martin Sheen get involved in politics!'" Franken said. "Then Arnold showed up and it was 'Oooh! Arnold’s running! Oooh! The Terminator!' Well, 'F' you!" We hear he eats with that mouth, too.

And, oh yeah, he’s running as a Democrat. But maybe you figured that out already, despite being an idiot. "Democrats,” says Franken, “care so much more for the poor than Republicans do." Yeah, Al, you know, has a really big heart.

Well, we might just have a few more things to say about all that in the days ahead. . .

Advance to the rear

Speaking of vicious weasels, we also hear that the French are about to do what they do best: Retreat.

Seems they’re removing all the special forces from Afghanistan, saying it’s becoming too dangerous. They’ve lost 10 soldiers during their participation in Operation Enduring Freedom. We can’t help but wonder how many of them were shot in the back. . .


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