Throw away the key

"Reporters and editors are Americans, too," wrote David Carlson, president of the Society of Professional Journalists, in a June 30 news release titled "Government out of line in condemning press that reported on surveillance activities."

"We have no desire to undermine our country," Carlson continued, sounding for all the world like Richard Nixon denying that he was a crook.

Oh, Dr. Carlson (he teaches journalism at the University of Pyongyang or some place), where do we begin?

Well, first of all, just the fact that you have to say something like that in the first place speaks volumes. No? But in aligning yourself with The New York Times and others who apparently don't care whether they undermine our country and expose our children to additional danger of terrorist attack, you must correctly sense that there are thousands, if not millions, of people out there who'd like nothing better than a chance to give you a piece of their fis--er, mind.

Second, who died and made you imperial majesty? For your information, Dr. Carlson, this is still a representative democracy, and this "government" you call out of line is what we call the U.S. House of Representatives, i.e., the duly elected representatives of we the people. So, who the heck are you to say we the people are "out of line"?

Talk about arrogance, hubris and elitism. Maybe they do things differently in Pyongyang, Dr. Carlson, but this is how we do it here. Whether you happen to like it or not couldn't be more irrelevant.

"It is extremely dangerous to democracy," Dr. Carlson continued to lecture, "when the government attempts to decide what citizens need to know and when it attempts to intimidate the news media. . . A major role of the news media in a democratic society to demand accountability from government."

The SPJ news release concluded: "Carlson urgs journalists and citizens everywhere to note which of their representatives voted for the measure and to hold them accountable at election time."

Oops. Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain! He's really a journalist. He's really apolitical. He's really objective, unbiased, a pursuer of the truth. No, he's not really from Pyongyang.

No. Really. You must believe me.

(Help! I'm melting....)