The Helen: Shill-meister-in-chief

Newsday columnist James Pinkerton welcomed Helen Thomas' return to the first-question tradition at last week's White House press conference, suggesting The Helen serves as a great foil for President Bush. I have to admit there's probably wisdom in playing off the growing recognition that the other side actually is a tad unhinged.

Which is an awfully lot like the argument that Howard Dean is the Republicans' best asset. Yes, I also have to agree that there is some benefit in letting the loony left do their own self-parodying. It may even be a bit fun, in a perverse sort of way. The problem, however, is that it's still not right. Howard Dean and Helen Thomas are sad symptoms of illness in the body politic.

After calling George W. Bush the worst president in history, The Helen suggested Dick Cheney could be the candidate in '08. But if "Dick Cheney is going to run for President, I'll kill myself," she said, adding, "All we need is one more liar."

The Helen, who has covered every president since John F. Kennedy, has a special fondness for Bush's predecessor, Bill Clinton. She had the honor of introducing the Philanderer-in-Chief at a D.C. retrospective in 2001. After alleging that Clinton had sounded the alarm—did I miss something?—on international terrorism, she added:

"He also brought unprecedented prosperity to our nation, and because of that, President [Bush] can use the surplus Mr. Clinton left behind to pay for many of the nation's needs in this time of crisis.... To me and millions of others, President Clinton has always personified that. He is the man from Hope, and that is what he has given us, hope. We miss him. Thank you, Mr. President."

[Insert Abu Ghraib tortured-screams sound file.]

The Helen also wrote a recent column—again, she is no longer a news reporter but has been allowed emeritus status within the White House press corps—noting how many other countries have had women heads of state and saying the United States is long overdue. In the same column she pointedly notes that Condoleeza Rice is not running.

So, what I want to know is: Whoever in the world, Charlotte, my dear, could she possibly have in mind?