Bitch-slapping the President

Did you hear the one about Debra Lafave's new career? She wants to be a ... uh ... journalizer. Seriously. Yes, I'm talking about that child-molesting ex-reading teacher in Florida. Daniel Ruth of the Tampa Tribune doesn't think this is so far-fetched an idea. He noted that it might take the office Christmas party, at least, to a new level.

Ruth adds that Deb should feel right at home in the mainstream mediocracy: "Indeed, the Fourth Estate historically has been populated by so many drunks, nut cases, egotists, eccentrics, manic-depressives and preening poltroons, that if Lafave is looking for an environment that will allow her to fade into the woodwork, she'll find no better respite from infamy than journalism."

So, maybe it's not that big a leap from child-molesting to truth-molesting. Speaking of Helen Thomas...

That is what we're here for this week—giving Ms. Thomas all the credit her illustrious career deserves. (Insert acid reflux sound file.) After all, as the veteran White House correspondent for UPI for more than 50 years, the 85-year-old Thomas has seen more presidential administrations than Debra Lafave has seen—oh, never mind.

OK, so Helen habitually uses that prerogative of getting the first question at presidential press conferences in order to bitch-slap the Commander-in-Chief. Like that one last week, when she accused President Bush to his face of wanting to go to war "from the moment you stepped into the White House" and killing thousands of Americans and Iraqis on a false pretext. Hey, that's show biz. Right?

But wait. Helen doesn't actually, uh, work for the wire service anymore. She, um, now writes a column for the Houston Chronicle, which makes her an opinionator and a point-of-view advocate—no longer an objective and professional beat reporter like the rest of the press corps. (Insert gag reflex sound file.) Larry Elder of WorldNetDaily says this amounts to a personal "no-fly zone" for The Helen. He asks:

"Why does she retain her position as a member of the White House correspondents' corps, retaining the privilege to ask the president a question? Could a male reporter retire, show up to work the following Monday, while retaining the same perks, powers and privileges?"

Oh, Larry. Details, schme-tails. I'm sure if Hillary gets elected, it will be just fine with everybody if Bob Novak, say, wants to come to press conferences and throw verbal stink bombs at her. Riiiiight...