ASK ROSCOEDINEJAD: Leader of infidel world

Dear Roscoedinejad,

Who do you like for president? I'm guessing you'd be an Obama man, if I don't miss my guess.

--J. Conyers

Dear J.,

You miss.

Don't give me that Obama stuff, man. Barack's a lightweight. Besides that, he's worse than an infidel. He was exposed to the true religion in Indonesia, and he rejected it. When you're given the opportunity to accept the religion of peace and you fail to receive it, you have rejected life. And since we don't need trouble from the feds, 'nuff said.



No, our candidate is Keith Ellison, newly elected Minnesota congressman and one who, let's say, doesn't have Obama's problem. The thing is, he's right on the priority issues: The defeat of the United States in Iraq (in favor) and the International Jewish Conspiracy (against). What else do we need?

Yeah, yeah, so he's not an announced candidate. Big deal. With enough pressure from the right quarters, J., I think we can change all that. And make history, too.

Go, Keith!

--Roscoe