No-o-o-o!

What a step backwards France has taken with the election of conservative President Nicholas Sarkozy, whose first post-election words were an endorsement of the Great Satan, the United States.

The French president-elect has been nicknamed "Sarkozy the American" by friends and enemies alike for his unabashed praise of US society, its dynamism and meritocracy… A much-publicised trip to the United States last year during which Mr Sarkozy met Mr Bush left him battling to dispel the charge he was an "American neo-conservative with a French passport."

See Sarkozy holds out hand to US. What a Bush toady. We bet Karl Rove’s fingerprints are all over this. Sarkozy probably holds Halliburton stock and knows Scooter Libby.

All right, all you fellow mujahedeen in Frogland—you know what to do. Start torching those cars like you did last year. What do they think this is, Crawford, Texas? This is France—America is supposed to be the enemy. Remember?

Help! I'm melting...