ASK ROSCOEDINEJAD

Mr. Roscoedinejad:

Where’s this Big War against Israel you and your raghead friends have been threatening this summer? Last I looked, it was still all silent night over there. You camel jockeys get cold feet, or is there still something in the works? Some of us are beginning to think you’re all show and no go.

--Ehud O.


Dear Mr. O.:

Didn’t you get the memo? It’s been rescheduled for the second and third weeks of November.

We are planning to kick off the offensive with a series of terrorist raids by commando units on civilian villages, military bases and highways, as well as cross-border fire on Israeli Defense Forces vehicles and positions guarding the border. After we have thoroughly probed and tested Israeli defenses, then we take back the Golan Heights.

Reason for the delay is we’ve been suffering some reversals in Iraq from that Surge, which is beginning to give Americans the idea that their news media are wrong about the inevitability of defeat. It’s also beginning to make things a bit awkward for Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi and our other allies in Congress. And we can’t have that.

So, just between us, there’s our secret plan in a nutshell. Please don’t tell anybody.

--Roscoedinejad


Hey, Roscoedinejad.

%$#* you and the camel you rode in on. What’s all this about you low-lifes being all worked up – all over a crayon in a toilet? Now, isn’t that just a bit childish? Even for you? Please explain.

--C. Matthews

Dear C.:

Clean out your ears. That wasn’t a crayon – it was a Quran. Or Koran, if you prefer.

Just wait. There will a price to pay for these crimes. Heads will roll – and we’re not talking toilets here.

--Roscoe

Death to Westchester County! Allahu fubar!