Birth of a movement
Infidels, prospects and proselytes:
Islamobaptism is catching on and gaining adherents even faster than we would have expected. Yea, faster than we can keep up with the divine revelations and the requests for clear instruction on our doctrines and creeds.
Therefore, we are pleased to announce the elevation of our dear brother Farouk Bin Ismail to the post of Associate Prophetoid for the purpose of assisting in these great tasks. Praise Jehovallah, PBJ.
Perhaps a recent exchange between Prophetoid FBI and his son, Travistan, will demonstrate what we mean. We think you will be touched, as we were, and receive further spiritual illumination all at the same time:
Can you talk to old prophet roscowhatshisname and get me a good position in the islamo-baptist movement? I want to have a huge castle and a big harem in the afterlife, but I want to be important enough so that I don't have to martyr myself to get them.
Since Islamo-Baptism is basically just another protestant denomination,only trying to be acceptably politically correct, we should emphasize that martyrdom is not required of converts. Though we do encourage Assisting old-fashioned Islamists in achieving unaccompanied martyrdom, if they are earnestly seeking it.
Needless to say, we are delighted to accept Travistan Bin Farouk into the faith as Acolyte Travistan. And we hope this helps to clarify our position on martyrdom. Stay tuned for more exciting developments and divine revelations.
Death to Intercourse, Pa.! Allahu fubar!