Listen up, infidels

Beware of the kuffar among you, that you do not suffer their fate. I speak today of Fred Thompson, the worst kind of infidel, who would be president of the secular states of America. He has called the glorious leader, Mahmoud “Mojo” Ahmadinejad (P.B.J.) a “pirate.” Do not listen to him, let alone vote for him.

See “The Pirates of Tehran” for an example of his great blasphemies. Do not be deceived. He is an enemy.

So are Mitt Romney and Sam Brownback and Duncan Hunter and Sam Tancredo, even John McCain and Rudolph Giuliani—in fact, virtually all the Republicans.

Listen instead to the voices of reason—Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid and Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton and John Edwards. We can work with these people. They do not have the same backward, uncooperative attitudes.

They will not foolishly resist our ultimate victory. Even now they are working to help make it possible.

Remember: One man’s traitor is another man’s hero. Allahu Akbar!