ASK ROSCOEDINEJAD

Hey, Roscoedinejad.

Did you hear Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad at Columbia U.? What’d you think? Pretty impressive, huh?

-- A. Zorbine, Jr.

Dear A.,

Yeah. Talk about pearls before swine. But, hey, what do you expect from a bunch of dumb infidels when a man the caliber of Mojo, PBJ, is in their presence?

These naïve Yank students have been so corrupted by Bush and the Great Satan that they actually believe the most absurd things. Like millions of Jews were killed in the so-called “Holocaust.” Like the peace-loving nation of Iran is developing weapons of mass destruction. Like Israel should have the right to exist. Like Muslims were responsible for 9/11. And like – LOL, gasp, pant – Iran has homosexuals!

Oh, stop! You’re killin’ me! I can’t breathe. As everybody knows, there are no homosexuals in the Islamic Republic. Not live ones, for very long, anyway.

And then, of course, that infidel swine of a university president, his ignorance brilliantly exposed, resorts to name calling – “petty and cruel dictator,” etc. Of all the nerve.

Next thing you know, these faux intellectuals are going to try to claim that the earth revolves around the sun, instead of the other way around.

Our man Mojo. He sure makes us proud, doesn’t he? Come to think of it, when it comes right down to it, who would you rather see have his finger on the nuclear trigger?

Mojo gets our vote, every time. Heck of a guy, isn’t he?

Death to Morningside Heights! Allahu fubar!

-- Roscoedinejad