ASK ROSCOEDINEJAD

Hey, ’Jad,

’Sup, dude? You used to be, like, bangin’ the blog here every day. Now it’s like once a week. What’s shakin’? Is it something’ we said? Your old lady jerkin’ your chain or something? Cat got your cursor? LOL.

--S. Dogg

Dear S.,

Sir. I’ll thank you not to refer to my woman as my “old lady.” Nor, for your information, does our chain get jerked by persons of the female persuasion. If there are any chains being jerked in our circles, I assure you, it is by the male heads of household. We obviously have a cultural disconnect here, home boy.

No, the problem is nothing like that. It’s one of simple discrimination. Ever since our, uh, conversion, our readership numbers have been way down – kind of any anti-surge. And who wants to cast pearls before Rosies? You know who you are. When we take over, you’re going to have some explaining to do.

And, speaking of surges, did you see that Harry Reid declared the Iraq surge a failure? So there. When we take over, Harry boy will be rewarded for his valiant efforts to ensure America’s defeat around the world. We shall spare his life. Won’t that be great?

I’m sure he won’t mind living out his days in a chartreuse chicken suit. That’s a lot better than what’s going to happen to Karl Rove. Hah!

Death to Searchlight, Nevada! Allahu fubar!

--Roscoedinejad

NOTE to infidels

Salman Rushdie's fatawa is still in effect. That means Sir Rushdie is a dead man walking.

In case you missed the news about Rushdie's knighting, see "Pakistan Lawmakers Condemn U.K. Award for Author Salman Rushdie." Pakistan's religious affairs minister said the award justified suicide attacks, the Associated Press reported, citing his speech to Parliament.

Mohammed Ijaz ul-Haq, Pakistan's religious affairs minister, said the award justified suicide attacks, the Associated Press reported, citing his speech to Parliament. ``The West is accusing Muslims of extremism and terrorism. If someone explodes a bomb on his body, he would be right to do so unless the British government apologizes and withdraws the `sir' title,'' AP cited him saying yesterday.

We're not, of course, advocating exploding a bonmb on his body -- necessarily -- even if he did blaspheme Muhammad and the Quran. Rushdie alleged that Islam wasn't always a monotheistic religion and that in its first unedited edition the Quran had namned some daughters of Allah. Those would be the Satanic verses. But there's one overriding thing to remember:

It never happened. You got that? Your life may depend on it.

Sir Salmon?

ROSCOEDINEJAD'S Mid-Weak Review

So, infidel, you think you're safe?

Just wait. Here's a preview of what's in store for you in the not-so-distant future:

BAGHDAD -- An al Qaida-affiliated insurgent group is giving Christians in Baghdad a stark set of options: Convert to Islam, marry your daughters to our fighters, pay an Islamic tax -- or leave with only the clothes on your back.

Serves 'em right. Where do they think they're living, anyway -- Hymietown?

Better wise up, infidel. American troops couldn't stop this. You won't be able to, either, when it comes here. Convert now and save yourself a lot of trouble. Otherwise, when the shi'ite hits the fan, don't say you weren't warned.

Oh, yeah -- read the rest of this exciting story here.

Another 'terrorist' captured?

What are they trying to pull here? That's no terrorist -- unless you count inducing heartburn, nausea and nightmares as terrorism. Just goes to show you can't trust a thing from this administration, especially those Pentagon liars.

Candidate warning: Al Gore is a fake

So, Dhimmicrat, you were excited to think you might get the chance to vote for Al Gore again? Ixnay on that, if you want to stay on the right side of things.

We have solid evidence that right here that Mr. Gore protests a whole lot too much when it comes to the war in Iraq and the global war on terror. He may pretend to be in favor of American defeat, but it appears to be nothing more than sheer cynical political expediency. Why, just a few years ago, he was arguing exactly the opposite. Shocking, huh?

Lookie here and see if we're not telling the truth. Seems like Al has a lot of explaining to do: Which is it? Were you lying then or are you lying now?

Maybe both...

Death to Murfreesboro, Tenn.! Allahu fubar!

Another step closer to Sharia

Don’t you just love it? Dhimmicrats and Americans are indeed paying for the rope that will be used to hang them.

Today we celebrate The New York Times and the American judicial system, which have conspired to interpret the U.S. Constitution as the proverbial suicide pact. We say again, any people who can no longer muster the will to protect its borders, fight its enemies and recognize the obvious when its very survival is in question may be many things – a club, a gang, an interest group. But a nation? Nah.

Civil rights for freedom fighters and enemy combatants? No problem. The courts will lay the tracks, and the mainstream mediocracy will ring the bells and toot the whistles on the bandwagon, all the while totally oblivious to the grim fate they are sealing for their constituents. And in this latest case, you’ve got The New York Times calling for the closing of Gitmo. “A National Disgrace,” they called it. Tee-hee. Only in America.

Oh, sure, you have your occasional gadflies like Ed Koch, writing things like “How the Mighty Have Fallen” and taking the Times mightily to task, as if he believes it will make some kind of difference. Hah!

By the way, don’t you dare read Koch’s piece. Allah will see. And you know of what persuasion da mayor of Hymietown is, don’t you? Hint: Presbyterian, it ain't.

Further affiant sayeth naught.

Death to Brooklyn, Noo Yawkh! Allahu singlesbar!

ROSCOEDINEJAD’S Weak-End Review

Bush Receives Hero's Welcome in Albania

No kidding. And here we didn’t even know they had NASCAR races in Albania. Well, guess we're glad somebody likes the guy.

Get a load of this excerpt from the Associated Press account:

Albania has eagerly embraced democracy and idolizes the United States. Three stamps have been issued featuring Bush's picture and the Statue of Liberty, and the street in front of parliament has been renamed in his honor.

But talk about shameless fishing for favorable photo ops. What really frosts us about this is that poor Albania is 90 percent Muslim and doesn’t need this kind of extracurricular corruption from the decadent West. What are we talking about, you ask?

Well, just take a look at this picture
from AP of Bush meeting the Albanian PM, and you’ll see what we mean. We’ll bet a thousand dinars that Prime Minister Berisha never shared a joint with anyone prior to meeting the decadent U.S. president. But not one but two AP photos carried the same caption:

(AP) U.S. President George Bush shakes hands with Albanian Prime Minister Sali Berisha after a joint...

So, it must be true…

Why we need sharia law

What’s all this talk about Scooter Libby’s sentence being too tough?

Thirty months is nothing, considering the circumstances. First, Lewis Libby was the chief henchman of that great war criminal, Vice President Dick Cheney. (That ought to be worth 10 years right there.) Second, he probably owned Halliburton stock. Third, it’s been reported that Libby had oral communications with Karl Rove on multiple occasions and even knew someone who once was a friend of Tom DeLay.

I mean, Jeez Louise. Throw away the key. Rarely reported in the Bush-controlled media was the fact that Libby could have been sentenced to as much as 25 years. So, why all the belly-aching about a sentence that was only one tenth of the proper amount? Because of Iraq, that’s why. And the CIA, of course.

“The trial exposed a White House allegedly deeply involved in managing the news, manipulating reporters, and exaggerating intelligence on Iraq's weapons of mass destruction programme,” according to unimpeccable sources (Al Jazeera News).

This kind of travesty would never happen under sharia law. Let’s just say when we’re in charge, people like Scooter Libby won’t be doing a heck of a lot more scootin’. If you know what we mean.

Death to Rockport, Illinois! Allahu fubar!

ASK ROSCOEDINEJAD: Leader of infidel world

Dear Roscoedinejad,

Who do you like for president? I'm guessing you'd be an Obama man, if I don't miss my guess.

--J. Conyers

Dear J.,

You miss.

Don't give me that Obama stuff, man. Barack's a lightweight. Besides that, he's worse than an infidel. He was exposed to the true religion in Indonesia, and he rejected it. When you're given the opportunity to accept the religion of peace and you fail to receive it, you have rejected life. And since we don't need trouble from the feds, 'nuff said.



No, our candidate is Keith Ellison, newly elected Minnesota congressman and one who, let's say, doesn't have Obama's problem. The thing is, he's right on the priority issues: The defeat of the United States in Iraq (in favor) and the International Jewish Conspiracy (against). What else do we need?

Yeah, yeah, so he's not an announced candidate. Big deal. With enough pressure from the right quarters, J., I think we can change all that. And make history, too.

Go, Keith!

--Roscoe